Dying Light Review (Story): The Following

dyinglightfollowing

Make sure you check out the original Dying Light Review before reading this.

The Following taught me even more about real life:

Episode 5: Been training for awhile now with Teddy. Let’s just say we eat a lot of squirrel for dinner. Came across a Javelina unexpectedly while trying to fix our stupid water pump (living in SW USA) and realized my skills weren’t exactly “legendary.” Teddy failed. I failed. I ran. Wife understood, but I could see the disappointment in her eyes. So, naturally, I think, “F-THIS”
*Jumps through kitchen window; hoofs it to the tool shed* *Sets Teddy on the workbench, grabs tazer, duct tapes tazer to Teddy, wraps metal wiring from tazer around blade, activate tazer, Teddy lights up like a F’in Christmas tree*
YEAH! *Heads back to water pump* Javelina is there, staring me in the GD face like a drunken frat kid. “OH, I’LL COME AT YOU BRO” *Charges Javelina, Teddy sparks like a damn firework*
Wake up 3 days later in the hospital with a giant gash in my side. I see the blurry outline of my wife, “Did I get him?” Wife: “No, he got away; the cops took your weapon.” I pass out again.

Episode 6: After some time at the hospital, I come home, wrap some alcoholic gauze around my arm like thirty times, and I’m back to full strength. Wife: “Did you hurt your arm too?” *Looks at gauzed up hand* Me: “I need more firepower.” *Looks at wife* Me: “Honey, do you trust me?” Wife: “No! I absolutely do not trust your judgment right now. You just nearly died!” Me: “Exactly! We need wheels.” *Grabs car keys, limps out the door* Me: “I’m gonna need more gauze.”

Episode 7: I return home with PigF$&%er, my sweet new buggy. I honk the horn in the driveway. I stand brandishing my recovered Teddy in all his glory and as my wife opens the door, I activate taze mode. Teddy lights up like a damn sword with a tazer attached to it. Wife: *closes door*
I realize she’ll only love me again if I kill this swine. *Buggy screeches out into the night* Experience Doubled.

TO BE CONTINUED…

11/10 Currently taking this course again in the Spring

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